Watchmen, the Abridged Script.

Courtesy of Rod Hilton, I bring you this link (clickie), and some highlights:

JACKIE EARLE HALEY

(growling)

I just finished watching The Dark Knight. This is how superheroes talk, isn’t it?

PATRICK WILSON

Fair enough. I pretty much stole my costume from that movie.

And my personal favourite:

BILLY CRUDUP

If only you could perceive my big blue penis in four dimensions, as I do.

Plus a bonus:

MALIN leaves to go see PATRICK WILSON. Upset, BILLY teleports himself to MARS and builds a GIGANTIC QUMRRLFPSKLZNT to WALK AROUND ON.

and...:

They all FIGHT in SLLLOOOOOOOWWWW MOOOTTTIIOONNN. THENSUDDENLYFASTMOTION! Then SLOOOOOOOOWWWWWW MOOOOTTIIIIOOONNNN AAAGGGAAIIIINNNN.

Read the full script in the Editing Room.